Oh the Horror…
I was thinking that it had been a while since the dogs had done anything post-worthy. That all changed this morning.
Warning: Grossness ahead.
Picture this:
It was about 8 AM. We were ready to leave for work so I was headed to let the dogs back into the house. Part of our morning ritual is letting the dogs romp and play in the backyard while we are getting ready. From time to time, I like to look out the window and watch them play without them noticing me. I love to see how they play together or just lie there surveying their backyard kingdom. Well, this morning, Dante was spread out in the grass. Beside him was some black stretchy material that I took to be a plastic bag. I just sighed and thought, “That crazy dog. He’s gone and chewed up a plastic bag. I hope he doesn’t get some intestinal blockage or something.” Just to let you know, plastic bags are not recommended for a well-balanced diet for puppies. But I digress. So, Dante finally saw me looking at the window and immediately headed for the door, so I went to let him in. He started to run inside but turned and made a circle for the bag. Rosie had already run inside at this point. So, I go out and try to convince Dante to give the bag to me so that I can throw it away.
Okay, it’s about to get gross now. Anyone with sensitive stomachs may want to skip down a few lines. You have been warned.
Dante is now dancing in front of me with the bag in his mouth. Me, I’m trying to coax it away from him. He finally comes within reach and I, with my super-mommy like abilities make a grab for it. I grabbed. And then I let go and immediately started going into hysterics of a sort. It was NOT a black plastic bag. What I grabbed was so the opposite of what I thought it was going to be that I totally freaked. Have you ever had the pleasure of grabbing what you think is plastic and finding out that in reality, it is tail feathers completely covered in dog slobber? Have you ever mistaken a dead bird in your dog’s mouth, for a stupid bag? Well, that was my pleasure this morning. I immediately started jumping up and down waving my hand around wildly in some crazy attempt to get the dead bird cooties off. Yes, I am an adult. Yes I am a biologist. Yes, I have disected animals bare-handed. But there are even limits as to what I will willingly touch. Dead birds do not fall into that category.
So, I come running in the house yelling “EWWWWW” and then run into Jonathan, who is looking at me like I’m crazy. (Not an uncommon response from him at all) Then he just kind of laughs as I head for the bathroom and wash my hands about a million times, using all the soap in sight. I finally managed to get Dante in the house without the bird. He tried really hard to get it in the house.
The bird carcass is currently lying in our backyard. The forcast for today is a high of around 95 or so. I can hardly wait to get home to the smell of dead bird. And of course, Dante will probably go straight for it. I have no choice but to remove the carcass before we let them out for the afternoon. But I imagine he will go to that exact spot and roll in it like it’s the best perfume in the world. I predict doggie baths coming soon. Or a nice little surprise on the carpet.
-Sigh- Is this what kids are like?
June 21st, 2006 at 12:22 pm
Dante must have part cat in him, do you think? This sounds like Opie who delights in bringing the chosen prey right up to the doorway, dropping it as a precious gift for us like we should be so proud! And yes indeed, kids are full of surprises!
June 21st, 2006 at 1:22 pm
Molly has shown us two dead adolescent rabbits this year, a couple of small birds, and there was also the live baby rabbit she was carrying around in her mouth a while back. I think that she and the cat team up to kill and then play with any animal that might be stupid enough to venture into our back yard.
I’ve gotten used to it now. The gloves go on and the carcass is transported directly to the garbage can. Hopefully the trash pickup people won’t get a dead bunny dropped on their head someday.
June 21st, 2006 at 2:38 pm
I just cackled. WTG Dante!
June 21st, 2006 at 3:37 pm
Yeah, maybe Dante is part cat. Although not so much cat as to offer the carcass up as a gift. He certainly did not want to give it up
Molly is a bunny-eater!!!! I think that would be way worse, I like bunnies. They are so cute. I’m kind of neutral about birds. Unfortunately, I have no idea whether or not he really caught it, or just found it. I’m going to assume that he caught it himself. We don’t get much wildlife in our backyard thanks to Dante. I guess now I have to go back to clapping and yelling at the birds every time I let the dogs out. I hate finding dead things in the yard
And Geof…it’s not funny!!!! Just kidding. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Doesn’t that make you want one
June 21st, 2006 at 5:17 pm
Eli hasn’t yet brought us a dead bird yet, but give him time.
But here’s the thing: kids grow out of this phase. Really! And then you don’t have to worry about them bringing in gross things again until they start dating.
June 22nd, 2006 at 7:20 am
Yeah, we all know that Eli will be dating the goth chicks.
[No, I don't want your dogs, Ashley. Not even Mr. Adorable Dante.]