Experiments in Life

I live with a killer…dog that is

The infamous Dante has struck again, only this time, it was not a bird he killed. Apparently he’s decided that birds were no longer a challenge. What he wants is some excitement, more chase. So what did I find waiting for me when I went to let the dogs in so I could leave for work… squirrel surprise! And what a surprise it was! I called them in and Dante picked up what I first thought was a rather large stick. Then it dawned on me, sticks aren’t fuzzy! (Hey, it was before my morning coffee!) When I realized what he had done I was so disgusted. My baby had managed to kill a poor defenseless squirrel. Oh the shame!

Of course Dante wanted to bring in the squirrel, possibly for his late-morning snack. And of course I would have none of that! So, I tried to use some of that obediance training that we paid lots of good money for. I gave him the “Leave it” command. And he would drop it, which is good, but he ignored the rest of the command. He is supposed to leave whatever it is and come. He didn’t want to come. So, he’d pick up the squirrel and I would yell “Leave it” and he would drop it and then I would tell him to come and he’d pick it back up, repeat cycle oh about a dozen times. Finally I resorted to bribery. Come get this tasty little dog treat in exchange for the dead squirrel outside. Good thing Dante isn’t too bright. Otherwise I’d probably still be out there trying to get him to come in

So, he came in, but dropped the squirrel right outside the door on the patio. Once I had him inside I locked the door. Unfortunately you can see the squirrel from the window. So Dante would look at the squirrel, look at me, then look back at the squirrel and scratch to go out. He gave me the most pitiful look. He acted like I had just taken away his only and favorite toy, which might be true at this point. I told him to suck it up and that he would just have to look at it through the window all day. Afterall, I did tell him to leave it out in the yard, not bring it to the door. So it’s really his own fault

Man, if this is what it’s like to have a kid, we may be in trouble I guess it’s too late now though. Hopefully my kid won’t kill and eat birds or squirrels, because if he does, we’re in much bigger trouble

Ashley is now at 13.5 weeks and has started to show. For those of you who have not seen her lately, here is a picture:

This post has been approved by Ashley.

Well, after much waiting, my MacBook finally arrived last night. I am now the proud owner of a 13-in MacBook with the Core 2 Duo processor; I ordered the laptop the day after the new model was released with the faster processor. After doing some research, I maxed out the RAM that the MacBook can hold — a whopping 2 Gigs! I got to play with it some last night and will continue moving all of my music and pictures off of my home server and onto the laptop tonight when I get home.

Well, I had my 12 week check-up today. Nothing really exciting went on. In fact, it was rather boring.

My appointment was at 8:45 and we sat in the waiting room probably until about 9 or a little after. Then we got called back to do the routine weighing and blood pressure. Then we had to wait some more because they didn’t have any rooms open. The nurse asked us about the triple screen test and we just looked at each other. So she brought us a little information pamphlet to look at while we waited. We finally got a room and then waited for forever. So, Jonathan and I entertained ourselves. The doctor showed up a little before 10 and started going over my chart.

Good news, I don’t have syphilus, HIV, or Hepatitis! I’m also immune to Rubella and Chickenpox. Apparently my doctor feels the need to tell me this each and every time I go in, it’s rather quite funny

Anyway, it looks like everything is going well with the baby. We didn’t have another ultrasound today, but we heard the baby’s heartbeat. It is in the 170’s. My doctor is satisfied that both the baby and I are healthy and doing well.

We made our next two appointments, with the “big” ultrasound scheduled for Jan. 10. Hopefully we’ll be able to find out what we are having then.

Sorry this is such an uninteresting update. Hopefully there will be more to tell next time. I am just beginning to show depending on what I have on, so belly pictures will probably start appearing in the next couple of weeks.

Stay tuned for more baby updates…

Dear Mr. Creekmore,

This letter is being sent to notify you that your wife has gone insane. We are sorry to report that she is experiencing extreme irritability and
irreversible pregnancy rage. While these conditions are temporary, there is no treatment available with the exception of childbirth. Seeing as she is only 11 weeks along, the latter treatment is not an option at this time. The best thing you can do is to treat the symptoms. Our advice to you is that you be as understanding and non-confrontational as possible. Please heed our advice, your very life may hang in the balance. Other things to do to pacify your wife: backrubs, saying nothing but “Yes, Dear”, saying “I Love You”, hand-holding, any type of affection, taking care of things so she doesn’t have to, flowers, etc. These are only some of the options you can choose to pursue. Please try to be patient, the rage will eventually pass. As long as it is not directed at you but at everyone else, things usually work out for the best.

We hope that this notification and our suggestions benefit you and your pregnant wife. Just remember that with time, it will pass. Until then, if you need help or a shoulder to cry on, please call our hotline
1-800-HELP-ME. Our operators are waiting to assist you.

Good Luck.

Sincerely,

HOPW (Husbands of Pregnant Women)

Every day and every night, spirits would communicate with us by flickering the lights in the house, sometimes so much that the fluorescent lights would cut off momentarily. Daily, the faint *beep* *beep* *beep* of the UPS could be heard from the office as the spirits tried to communicate using the computer. Unfortunately, the 1998-era technology was just too much for them — the lights downstairs would just flicker more with their frustration. The haunting had been going on for the better part of three months.

Bound and determined to figure out the cause of the flickering, I scoured the house searching for an explanation. I came up with obvious, logical hypotheses: the water heater is shorting out, the new heat pumps are having problems, my UPS is defective. None of these hypotheses turned out to be true, so I decided to call in the experts. Either the power company would find a problem with our feed or our house was truly haunted.

The first time I called, I waited and I waited. Eventually, I forgot about the call and weeks passed by. At my wits end with the spirits inhabiting the house, I called again two weeks ago. Apparently, the foul demons did not want to be driven out; they had gone so far as to erase any record that I had ever called the power company and put in a maintenance request. However, this time the maintenance request went through and I had two service representatives on the way out to the house. All I had to do was meet them there in a half hour.

I make it to the house and the demon decides to intervene. “THOU SHALT NOT DRIVE ME OUT,” it exclaimed angrily. Minutes later, I receive a call from the power company saying that it has been unavoidably delayed by an emergency call; they will try to be out to the house as soon as possible. Cursing the demon, I settle in for what turns out to be a three-hour battle of wills until it weakens enough to allow the service representatives access to the house. However, the demon was still too strong to be beaten; it blinds the service representatives with ignorance and disbelief, clouding their minds against the true cause of the problem. They insist that the problem is not on their end; I must hire an electrician to battle against the demon inside the house.

Help in the form of the Electrician arrived around noon on Halloween. The Electrician is a powerful force for good in the world; the demon had no power over it. He easily disproved the web of lies and deceit that the demon forced the service representatives to utter. The Electrician determined that the problem was not in my domain, but rather that of the power company. Only they had the tools to successfully drive the demon out of the infernal transformer at the edge of our property. Working as a powerful advocate, the Electrician convinced the power company that it needed to come out and look at the transformer as soon as possible.

Later that night, service representatives once again appear at the house. The demon quickly clouds their mind with disbelief of everything that I relay to them. Even staring the evidence in the face, they dismiss the claim that the problem could possibly be on their end. At that very moment, my neighbor arrives and confirms that the demon has been active in their house as well. Reluctantly, the service representatives agree to shut off the power and trying to exorcise the demon from the transformer. A short time thereafter, I got out to check on the progress off the service representatives. They admit that the demon has defeated them and that they must remove the infernal transformer and replace it with a clean one.

Fast forward several more hours. It is just after midnight on All Saints‘ Day when the power goes out. After a furious battle outdoors, the power comes back on forty-five minutes later. The power company has replaced the infernal transformer. It has now been several days and there appears to be no sign of any spirits or of the demon. Our house now appears to be clean.