Doesn’t that sound yummy?
No?
Then how about octopus-shaped cookies? Is that more suitable to your palate?
Here is a way to save oceans, one cookie at a time…
My favorite is the “Protect the Coral Reef” group 
What is your favorite ocean cookie?
Today Emily had her 4 month well visit. She got more shots, which she was not excited over. However, she did really well with them. She didn’t scream all the way home like last time. Of course, Jon will tell you it was because he was there. Daddy to the rescue. Well, here are her long awaited stats:
weight: 14 lbs 3 oz (75th percentile)
head circumference: 41.5 cm (75th percentile)
length: 25 3/4 inches long (90th percentile)
As you can see, she is quite tall for her age, and her head is huge!!! We all knew Emily would most likely be tall, but this is crazy. She is on the verge of wearing 6-9 month clothes. If you had told me my 4 month old would be at least one size ahead in clothing, I would have said that you were crazy. Oh well, guess she really is going to take after Jon in the height department. At least she still has my nose! But at this rate, she’ll be taller than me before she gets out of grade school!
Well, that’s all for now. She goes back in another 2 months. Who knows how big she will be by then.
Stay tuned for more Emily updates…
The world was full of light and wonderful things. The sun was shining and the birds were singing. I was pleasantly surrounded by life. Suddenly, I was plunged against my will into darkness. No longer could I see or hear the noises associated with everyday living. I was trapped. The temperature began to rise and the panic began to set in. I was alone and the silence only reminded me of that fact. There was no one to help me, no one even knew I was there. I was held between two worlds, one full of light and one of only darkness. Fear and panic began to take over. Suddenly, a dim sliver of light pierced the darkness. It guided me in my time of desperate need. I went towards the light, clinging to the hope that I would be free once more. Finally, I was thrust back into the light. Relief washed over me. I was back where I belonged, in a world full of light and life. Never have I been so thankful.
Yep, that’s right. I got stuck in the elevator at work during a power outage. Nothing like a little time in a large, heavy, suspended-between-two-floors metal death trap to give you a new perspective on things 
Yesterday Emily had her two month well visit. Everything was going great until she got her vaccinations. Then she totally came unglued. She was uber-sensitive for the rest of the evening too. If I even touched her leg she would stop what she was doing and start screaming. I felt so horrible about the whole thing. She was smiling at the nurse and having a good time, but I knew what was coming. The nurse asked me to hold her arms, so I did. Then the nurse stuck her with the needle and she lost it. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this bad about anything in my whole life. And what was worse is there was another shot left to go. My poor baby was traumatized, and me along with her. I have just discovered first-hand that parenting is all about the guilt.
After being extremely sensitive to touch and running a slight fever in the wee morning hours, Emily appears to have recovered. She was smiling and talking to me this morning so she has either forgotten or forgiven me. At this point, it doesn’t really matter which, just as long as she still wants me around. I am so glad that we both have two months to recover from this trauma before we have to do it again. I’m thinking Jon definitely needs to go next time. I hope he doesn’t have meetings the next time round, otherwise both Emily and I will need consoling
Anyway, the doctor said that she was beautiful and healthy, even though she has a little cold. She weighed in at a whopping 10 lbs 14 oz and was 22 in long. Her head circumference was 40 cm - it’s all her brains that make her head so big
Well, that’s all the update this time. Stay tuned for more stories in the life of Emily
Well, little Emily is 9 weeks now. If you read my earlier post describing the labor and delivery, you know that she had it kind of rough from the beginning. Unfortunately, things didn’t go so great after we got home either. She was really fussy with gas and the broken collar bone. There were many sleepless nights and marathon nursing sessions. I thought things were going great with the nursing, turns out I was wrong. We began supplementing two days after leaving the hospital since she had lost additional weight upon going home. She lost a total of 10 oz. I didn’t really want to supplement so early, but getting her weight back up was important.
The first two weeks of her life are a total blur to me now. I remember seeing the sun rise on several occasions. I remember the terrible crying fits resulting from gas pains and how she never seemed to sleep like a newborn was supposed to. She never slept that ~20 hours most babies do. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with her, or if it was me or the combination of the two. My friend Misty told me that the first 6 weeks were the hardest. I soon discovered the truth behind her statement. No matter what people tell you and what stories you hear, nothing can prepare you for bringing home your first child. I knew that we would get little sleep at first, but I had no idea how bad the sleep deprivation could get. I now understand why it is used as a torture method. I would have said or done anything just to get a little sleep in a bed, without an infant clinging to me for dear life. She was so tiny and helpless…
Once Jon returned to work, I found it very difficult to deal with my new-found motherhood alone. This resulted in Emily’s first trip at a mere 3 weeks old. We went and stayed with my parents in Mississippi. It was during this trip that we discovered that my milk supply was woefully low. I began pumping after nursing in an attempt to increase my supply. The soreness became to great though and so I started pumping and giving it to Emily in a bottle. Afterall, the nursing itself wasn’t going well and she seemed to do better taking it from a bottle. I pumped every ~3 hours or so for about a week and my supply still did not increase. At the time, Emily was eating 5-6 oz. per feeding. I could barely pump enough for one feeding, and that was after a full day of pumping. As a result, we were supplementing heavily but I continued to offer what milk I had. After a week and a half, Jon came and picked us up and took us home. Two days later, I was calling my mom in tears. The next day I was diagnosed with post-partum depression. In hindsight, that explained a lot. I am still dealing with the depression, but I’ll leave that for another post.
My diagnosis resulted in yet another trip to my parents house for another week and a half. However, once I was medicated things began to get much better. Unfortunately, I had to wean Emily completely. Because the nursing had not gone well initially and my supply was low, I had no qualms about weaning her. I had entered breastfeeding with the same mindset I had with the natural labor: I’ll do it for as long as I can. Unfortunately that only turned out to be a month and some change. I had really planned on nursing for up to a year, but alas, it was not to be. My doctor said I should pump 2x/day for two weeks and then go down to 1x/day for two weeks in order to avoid engorgement and mastitis. My milk supply was so low already that it only took half that time at the most for it to dry up. I didn’t even need to pump daily. In fact, I was going almost two days or more without pumping before I would even hint at engorgement. I could not believe how quickly the milk dried up.
Although we all have encountered various stumbling blocks along the way, broken collar bones, nursing complications and the like, things are much better. Despite all that has happened, Emily is thriving and we are a much happier family. Emily became a new baby once I was medicated. Whether that was because she was picking up on all of my stress or because I could now see her as a person instead of some parasite attached to me constantly (harsh I know, but the truth nonetheless), I am not sure. All I know is that I feel much better after being prescribed Zoloft. It is a wonderful drug
We’ve come a long way in the short 9 weeks that Emily has been with us, and I look forward to all the time ahead of us. I already know that it passes by too quickly. I cannot believe that our little angel is 9 weeks old already. I am just trying to treasure every moment to its fullest, even the rough ones, for I know that at some point I will long for these days, even the sleepless nights. So I plan on holding her as much as possible and snuggling with her every chance I get for as long as she will let me. And after all that we have been through already, I absolutely love being a mother. It has fulfilled me in ways that I was incapable of imagining before now.
In closing, I have a few words and thoughts for my daughter:
I am so glad that you are here Emily. We waited so long to meet you, and now I look forward to being your mother, no matter what challenges may come. I love you now and always. You were meant to be my daughter as I was meant to be your mother. Only you could fill the space in my heart that I did not know existed. I remember what it was like before you were born, but I already cannot imagine my life without you. I am a better person because of you. Thank you for that.
Well, between the sleepless nights, the bottle washing, and the baby crying, I have not had the time nor the desire to really post much lately. However, it appears that things may be finally calming down some. Little Emily may finally be adjusting to life outside the womb.
I actually started this post a few weeks ago but am just now getting to finish it up and publish it. Emily is now 8 weeks old, better late than never right
As you can see from the title of this post, I am going to capture Emily’s first few moments in the world and what it took to get her here. Many of you may not care to read what I am about to write, but that is okay. I guess this post is more for me than for anyone else. I want to write about it before I forget it all. It is a story not for the feint of heart, so if you are expecting or don’t enjoy labor and delivery stories, I’d skip this one.
Here is my labor story…
After staying put for two weeks longer than expected, my doctor finally told me it was time to induce. We arrived at the hospital on Sunday, June 10 at around 7 PM or so. We checked in and then got settled in for the night. The nurse started hooking me up to all the monitors while another nurse put in a heplock so that if they needed to put in an I.V. later, the hard part would already be done. It took two tries, but she finally found a place on the side of my arm. The labor nurse for the eveing then checked me. She announced that I was only 4 cm dilated and the baby was at -1 station. She informed me that my doctor would be up soon in order to break my water. I was a little disappointed that I was not dilated any further than when my doctor checked me last, but I dealt with it.
My doctor arrived within half an hour. Apparently I was not the only patient who needed their water broken. She came in and checked me and announced that I was actually 6 cm dilated and the baby was at +3 station, meaning that the head was so low, she couldn’t get around her to break my water. At this point, I begin seriously questioning my labor nurse’s abilities. Since she couldn’t break my water, we decided to let me labor through the night and see what happened. We were all hoping that it would not be long. Alas, that was not to be.
As the night went on, my contractions became more and more painful. At this point, I was still trying to go as natural as possible for as long as possible. My doula was not there yet seeing as I was still handling things on my own well enough. Jonathan was extremely supportive as things began to unfold. He would talk to me and hold my hand and tell me he loved me. Unfortunately, the nurse decided we needed to push I.V. fluids because Emily’s heartrate was not “assuring” enough. However, once she started pushing fluids, the I.V. started leaking horribly. I think I wore most of that first bag of fluids, so she had to redo it. This was my third I.V. attempt, I began to worry that this may not be a good omen. Once the fluids got going though, Emily’s heartrate was great. The contractions were getting intense now but the nurse kept telling me that I had not yet gotten into a good contraction pattern. I think I asked her about it every time she came to check on me, and every time the answer was the same. I just wanted to cry because the pain was starting to get to me and I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to handle much more.
As the night wore on, the pain got worse. It wasn’t so much the pain that I wasn’t able to deal with, it was the lack of sleep. I could hardly lay down comfortably because of Emily’s position. I pretty much had to stay in an upright position all night. Finally, Jonathan laid down to get some much needed rest and fell asleep. I had to ask the nurse for something to help me sleep. She gave me half a dose of nubain. It dulled the pain just enough for me to doze in between the contractions, but I woke up each time I had one, so there was no rest for the weary.
About six or seven that morning, I realized I needed help so we called my doula and told her to come on. Then things seemed to slack off a bit and we called her back and told her she didn’t have to rush. Not long after that, the shift changed and my new labor nurse came in and introduced herself. She was great. She checked me and I had only progressed 1 cm during the night. This was not good, after ~12 hours of labor, only 1 cm progression called for more drastic measures. My doctor came in and we had no choice but to start the pitocin. We agreed to start with the smallest dose possible to see if that would kickstart my labor. That’s when we called our doula to come in soon.
As the pitocin began to work, it didn’t seem all that bad at first. However, after a couple of hours, my coping skills were down to zero, even with the help of my doula. The pain finally began to get to me. I could no longer deal with it. And the worst part was that I still had not progressed and the pitocin dosage needed to be increased. At the lowest dosage, my contractions had begun to last for about 5 min. with a break of about a minute between each contraction. At this point, I wanted something for the pain. My doctor recommended an epidural for the pain. She said I could get a full dose of nubain but it wouldn’t help with the pain, I just wouldn’t care as much. The other drug options were not her first choice since they could have adverse effects on the baby. So, I chose an epidural.
I began to lose it soon after that decision was made. We could only hope that the anasteasiologist would appear soon. He finally made it not long after we called for him. Unfortunately he was in demand and everyone wanted him at the same time. Of course, it is almost impossible to bend over when you are having a contraction. I could not bend my back at all because it increased the pain so much. Finally, he managed to get it in. They laid me down and I started to lose it again. Laying down increased the already painful contractions exponentially. As I lay there trying to deal with the pain, I formed a blood clot at the epidural site and it would no longer work. We had to do it again. So, they sat me up again and the doctor started all over again. At this point, his pager was going off continuously. So much so that my labor nurse finally answered it for him. Then he got flustered and knocked over an entire epidural tray. The second epidural did not take either because the space was too tight, there was no room for the catheter to be threaded in. So, the third try is a charm right? That one finally took, however, it didn’t go in as far as he would have liked it to. But by this point, I had a couple of test doses of medication in me and it wasn’t so bad by the third try. Once the epidural kicked in, I was a new person.
For a procedure that normally takes just a few minutes, it took me an hour to get an epidural. Immediately after I was seriously numb and comfortable, I was checked and was at 9 cm and +4 station. Within an hour, I was at 10 cm and Emily was still at +4 station. It was time to push, unfortunately, my contractions started to die down at this point and I could no longer feel them. So the pitocin was turned up. The nurse would tell me when to push and I did. My doctor and everyone else said that I shouldn’t have to push for more than 30 min. or so since Emily was practically here. Unfortunately, that also did not happen.
I pushed for about 3 hours, and still no Emily. I had pushed in every position imaginable, which is very difficult when you are numb from the waist down. I was exhausted and felt like I had nothing left to give. I just could not get Emily’s head to drop anymore. She was essentially stuck. My doctor arrived and announced that we had to get this baby out and that I only had a couple of pushes to do so. I knew that if I didn’t get her out now, I would be in surgery very soon. The doctor had to use the vacuum to get Emily’s head out. I also ended up with a third degree laceration. Apparently I am really good at carrying babies, just not so good at delivering them. Emily was finally born late that afternoon, after 22 hours of labor. Twenty-two hours is a very, very long time. It would be a couple of days before we found out that Emily’s collar bone was broken as a result of the hard labor and delivery. This poor child had quite an entry into the world.
I remember feeling this enormous sense of relief as my child was born into the world. Hearing her first cry was amazing. I now understand why women cry after delivering a baby. It’s relief as much as it is happiness and elation. I was a bit worried though as I heard them call down a couple of NICU nurses. Apparently Emily was grunting which can be a sign of respiratory problems, especially after she had been in the birth canal for so long. But they dubbed her healthy and left soon after checking her out. I remember watching Jonathan hold her for the first time. There are no words to describe it. I tried to burn that image into my brain so that I never forget it. So far, I haven’t. So many of the events towards the end of my labor are a blur to me. I am surprised that I have remembered this much and how clearly I do recall it.
Although my labor and delivery experience was less than pleasant, it was my experience. It was the experience I was meant to have. My attitude afterwards was, “it was what it was and there is no reason to dwell on what went wrong.” I am not disappointed with how things went. It just showed me what I could take and what I couldn’t. I think I am a stronger person for the way the series of events unfolded. Would I have been happy had things gone better? Sure I would, but I wouldn’t change anything. I got out of this experience what I wanted, a healthy baby.
So, Emily, even though you have been in the world for a little while and our hearts even longer, welcome to our family!
So, I am sure that most of you are wondering how things are going, if we’ve had the baby, and various other things. Well, on Wednesday, the contractions lasted all day and throughout most of the night. They seemed to get more intense as the hours passed by. I was having several within an hour, but they still weren’t strong enough to warrant going to the hospital. About 2:30 AM, I woke up unable to sleep through some of the contractions. Jon also woke up and we talked about how we might be having a baby the next day. Well, we were up until 4:30 or 5 AM, at which point, I was able to finally fall back asleep. Once I was asleep, Jon was able to relax and go to sleep as well. We woke up around 7 and unfortunately the contractions had stopped. I was very disappointed and frustrated, but there was nothing I could do about it. Jon told me to stay home from work both Thurs. and Fri., that I needed a break. So, I did. I piddled around the house, trying to be active yet not so active that I wore myself out. I had minor contractions Thursday, but they were very spaced out and not very intense. I’ve managed to keep myself busy over the past couple of days.
For the moment, my contractions are beginning to get a little closer together. For the last couple of hours, they have become about 10 minutes apart. However, they are of varying length and intensity. I can still talk through them so we will not be going to the hospital any time soon. Right now we’re just hanging out and somewhat keeping an eye on the contractions. I’m trying not to get my hopes up just yet since it could just be more false labor. However, I’ve finally come to peace with the fact that whatever is meant to happen will happen and not a minute sooner.
So for now, we’re just hanging out at home, waiting somewhat patiently. At the very least, Sunday is just a couple of days away.
Stay tuned for further updates…
This week’s stats:
I gained 0 lb over the past week (total pregnancy gain 13 lbs)
Blood pressure is good after 45 min. or so
Heart rate was 130s
Measuring at ? cm
The baby is in the head-down position
Cervix: a ‘good’ 4 cm dilated
Effacement: 80%
Station: 0
Contraction Pattern: good
That’s right folks, I’m finally having contractions. Even at this exact moment I am contracting. Turns out that I’ve been having them for quite a while, I just didn’t realize it. However, I seem to be doing poorly at keeping up with the timing of them. Oh well, I’m sure Jon will be happy to help me out with that if it means he gets to hold his baby girl soon
Today was a very interesting doctor’s appt. There was much excitement to be had. Here is today’s story…
We got there early and were pleasantly surprised when they called us back relatively quickly. They asked the usual questions and did the usual routine. Since I had reported slower fetal movments the last couple of visits, they wanted to check the amniotic fluid and due a stress test (both of which are common procedures once you are overdue I think). Anyway, while the nurse was taking my blood pressure, she was surprised when it shot up to 140/60, which is high for me. She was concerned about it so I knew we were definitely going to do the stress test. Of course, her concern only got me more worried. During the ultrasound, the doctor said there was plenty of amniotic fluid and was ready for me to move to a normal room so she could check my cervix and get the heartbeat.
Well, I asked her about the blood pressure and she was surprised at how high it was. Like I said, it was high for me. Throughout the entire pregnancy, I’ve been very consistent with 112/60 or so. So, they hooked me up to the fetal heart monitor for 20 min. or so. During that time, my doctor was called away to deliver a baby. The nurse checked on me several times but the baby really hadn’t woken up yet since the heart rate was still in the 130s. She made me drink a juice box, which I remember being way better as a kid. They’re pretty gross now
Anyway, the nurse practicioner then came in to check on me and asked me if I was having contractions. I told her no and she looked at the monitor and said yes I was. I was really shocked. At this point, they don’t feel like what I thought they would. I didn’t even know I was having them! She then gave me another juice box to drink because they were so small. I was unhappy at best. Of course, by this time, I had to go to the bathroom again. No sooner did I tell Jon about it that the nurse came back and said she still wasn’t waking up. So she started pushing on my belly to wake her up. I told her I had to go again and she said sorry and left. It didn’t really help me any
By this point, the doctor had returned and she came in to check on things. She took me off the monitor and told me that I was in a good contraction pattern. I had one at 5 min, then 2 min. later, followed by 3 min. then 6 min. I was kind of all over, but I was having them. She asked if I felt them and I told her I just felt crampy. She seemed kind of surprised but didn’t think anything of it. So, she checked me and stretched my cervix again and said this may well send me into labor. We also discussed my blood pressure. If it was high the next couple of times, I would have the choice of doing bloodwork and going home or going to the hospital, being induced and having the bloodwork done there. We were so close to having Emily today, but the blood pressure came down so I was sent on my way.
We also discussed how things would go this weekend. If I make it to Sunday, we are to go to the hospital at 6 or 6:30 to check-in. She would come and break my water and give me a couple of hours to see if that triggers full labor. If not, then I would be put on pitocin for an hour or two and then taken off to see if that triggers labor. If not, then back on the pitocin. We are all hoping that she will either come before then, or the water breaking will do it.
Come Monday, we will have our baby in our arms at long last. It’s been a relatively easy pregnancy and I’ve enjoyed it for the most part, but we are so ready to wrap our arms around the little person who has already wrapped herself around our hearts.
We can’t wait to meet you Emily and hope to see you soon. We love you so much already.
Yes, I am still pregnant…
Yesterday was my official due date. It came and went and we still have no baby to hold. But, that is okay. She will come when she is ready. I am currently trying to deal with this the best I can. The plan to induce is still in place if she isn’t here by June 11th. In fact, I will go into the hospital in the evening on June 10th (8-9 PM) or so and my doctor will come up to the hospital and break my water once her kids are in bed. It’s really comforting to know that she would come and do that for me even though she isn’t on call. Of course, she is on call this weekend and said that this weekend would be a great time for me to have a baby. She said that if I can’t handle things and am not doing well to come in this Sunday and she would break my water that night. So, Emily could be here as early as June 5 or as late as June 12. I’m going to hold out as long as I can. It just depends on how I am doing mentally and physically. If you’ve not heard, I plan on going as natural as I can during labor and childbirth. Because of this decision, my doctor encouraged me to wait the extra week and not be induced until June 11. However, June 11 is written in stone. She will not let me go over that, which is probably a good thing. I am so lucky to have such a supportive doctor, and husband as well. Jonathan has been really great throughout the whole pregnancy, but he is really shining right now. I couldn’t ask for a better husband
So, here’s the information you’ve all been waiting for:
I lost 1 lb over the past week (total pregnancy gain 13 lbs)
Blood pressure is good
Heart rate was 140
Measuring at 36 cm
The baby is definitely in the head-down position
Cervix: a ‘good’ 3 cm dilated
Effacement: 80% (we think-the doctor forgot since she was stretching my cervix)
Station: not sure, I’ve had a lot of hip pain and pressure, and since I lost a couple of cm, we know she has dropped further into the pelvis. My guess is she is definitly lower than -1.
My doctor stretched my cervix for as long as I could tolerate it. Jonathan was impressed as to how long I could bear it. It is more uncomfortable to me than painful, although there is some pain and definite discomfort afterwards. We are hoping that this will further dilate me and cause contractions to start. So far, I am pretty consistent in that when I do have contractions, they are always 5 min. apart and the same length in duration. Unfortunately, I manage to have 3-4 good contractions and then stop. So, we will have to wait and see if my labor will start on its own. I guess Emily is just taking after her parents and being stubborn!
So, that’s the update for this week. I do have an appt. scheduled for next Wed. We are hoping that we will not have to keep it. Of course, we were hoping not to have today’s as well. Oh well, all in good time.
Maybe this weekend…
Well, so much for progress…
I gained 0 lb over the past week (total pregnancy gain 14 lbs)
Blood pressure is good
Heart rate was 140
Measuring right on for 39 weeks (~38cm)
The baby is definitely in the head-down position
Cervix: 2 and some cm dilated (not quite 3 cm yet)
Effacement: 70%
Station: -1
So yes, I did progress some since I am now 70% effaced. Up until this point, all she said was that my cervix was soft, this is the first time she has mentioned effacement. She stretched my cervix a little again so I’ll probably have some mild contractions over the next day or two. Last week after stretching, I was really sore and had a few random contractions by Friday afternoon.
There is not much else to report. We were all hoping I would be further along with the dilation, but she will come in her time. I’m trying to be patient. I was doing well until this week. I do believe things are finally beginning to take there toll. I am very tired now and beginning to look that way. My doctor did give us what she called a ‘light at the end of the tunnel date’. If I am still pregnant by June 9 or 11, we will induce. My doctor is pretty adamant about not letting me go further than that. So, at the most, I only have 2 1/2 weeks left. Perhaps something will happen by the end of the week or over the weekend. We’ll just have to wait and see.
We’re hanging in there though. Some days are just better than others. Yesterday was good, but today is not as good. At least I have work to keep me busy. We’ll be sure to let folks know if anything starts happening, but it looks like it is going to be a little while longer before the fun begins.
The next doctor’s appt. is next Thursday, the day after my due date. I am hoping that we will not make that one, but only time will tell. So, look for another update on the 31st.