To Emily: On Your 2nd Birthday
To My Little Emily:
Now you are two. My how those two years have flown. You have grown so much in these past two years that it all seems like a blur. I can remember carrying you in my womb, giving birth to you, and bringing you home for the first time. You have come a long way since then. It seems like yesterday you were beginning to crawl and taking your first steps. We have since moved on to first words and now short sentences. It will not be long before you are telling us exactly what you think about everything when you think it. Although I look forward to the many firsts we have yet to encounter, it is bittersweet at the same time. I miss the little Emily wrapped up in a fluffy towel snuggling into my lap right after bath. I miss the Emily that I could carry and swing around with the greatest of ease. These days, your legs dangle past my knees when I pick you up. I am glad you are a happy, growing girl but the time is going by too fast.
I watch you every day and try to committ it all to memory. I don't ever want to forget the way you come running up to me after a day at school or the way you smile and laugh with your father. I especially love the wrestling matches and tickle fests that you and your dad engage in. Every morning I look forward to seeing your smiling face and hearing your sweet voice. Even though I know the day will certainly have its share of tears and "no's"; I know that your infectious laughter will also be plentiful. I love the way you are surprised at the simplest thing, like bugs and water, and how you shout "Airpane!" when you look up at the sky-even if there isn't one. One of my favorites is when you see something you find amazing, look back at me with a surprised look on your face and say "Whoa!". You are becoming imaginative and starting to pretend on your own. That process has been amazing to watch. You make me laugh at so many things and appreciate things even more. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child is a wonderful thing.
I jokingly say to friends and family that you can't be my child because you don't like to get dirty or paint or play in the water. But the truth is, you are my child, and I would never change that. You are mine, your father's, you are ours. That will never change, no matter how much you might wish that when you are a teenager. I now understand all those quotes and stories about motherhood. You are my heart. Letting go is and will be the hardest thing I ever have to do. Already I have had to let go of the baby you use to be and accept the strong-willed toddler saying "Help" at the top of her lungs, which is your equivalent of saying "I can do it myself". Come August, we will be letting go of the little girl in diapers and accepting the big girl who no longer needs them. Even though I try to encourage your independence, it is a double-edged sword. Part of my job as a mother is to ensure your health and well-being as a child, and help you grow into a mature, well-adjusted, productive adult. However, that part of my job conflicts directly with the other part of my job, to love you and protect you from any number of things, no matter how big or small the threat. I only hope that you one day will understand these things for yourself.
It is amazing to me to see the parts that your father and I passed on to you. You have my nose and your father's eyes, and our red hair. You have many of your father's personality traits, including his stubborness, and my inability to sit still for more than five seconds. It is interesting to see the results of your father and I squished into one tiny little person who also has a personality of her own. I look forward to watching your personality develop and I cannot wait to meet the person you are destined to be. But for now, you are mine, and I will treasure every minute of it.
You are my little girl, my baby, my angel now and forever.
I love you, Emily, so very much. We both do.
Happy Birthday.
Happy Anniversary Baby!
Wow! I can't believe we've been married for 3 years already. Where does the time go. I remember that day so clearly...
It was a rather stormy day in May. In fact, there was a tornado or two... just for us 
I went to the salon and had my hair done along with a few of my bridesmaids. Then we all went to the church to get dressed. My soon-to-be sister-in-law did my makeup. Then came the dress. I don't remember exactly how many people it took to get me into my dress, who knew wedding gowns and slips and special bras could be so hard to get into 
Once we were all made-up and dressed, it was time for pictures. Jonathan and I opted to have all of our pictures done before the wedding. We took our separate group photos first and then it was time for me and Jon.
I'll never forget seeing him for the first time. He was so tall and handsome in his tux. All I could think about was that he looked good...and he was mine! The photographer gave us about 10 minutes together before the pictures started. It seemed like forever. I remember his face as I walked in the room. He was grinning like an idiot! But then again, so was I At first, all we could do was stare. His eyes spoke volumes as he looked at me. There are no words to adequately describe what I saw in him that day. From that moment, I knew that I would always be loved and always taken care of, no matter what happened. There wasn't a tear to be shed, just goofy grins, I love you's, and don't step on the dress. It was a lot of fun. Then, more pictures.
The pictures finally ended just as a few people began to arrive. It was almost time. I was ushered away deep into the church so that no one could see me. It seemed like I was back there forever. Then my mother came in, and I found out that some of the decorations caught fire. My mother was so afraid that I would be upset, it was all I could do to stop laughing. It was great. Then it was finally time to lineup and get ready to go in.
I was never really nervous. And I had prepared myself for a small wedding, especially because of the weather. I remember my thoughts exactly as the music began to play and my father and I stepped into the sanctuary. "Wow!" The church was packed! It was standing room only, even in the balcony. I couldn't believe how many people had come. There were rows and rows of Jonathan's family, followed by at least two rows of MSMS folks. There were so many faces. But all of that was forgotten when I looked down the aisle and saw Jon for the second time. It was just as special as the first. Only this time, we would leave as husband and wife. He was still grinning like an idiot 
The wedding went on without a hitch, he didn't run and I didn't trip down the steps. All in all, it was a pretty good ceremony if you ask me. I don't remember much (that's what the video is for). One thing I do remember is looking up at him throughout the ceremony with the biggest smile on my face, and him smiling back at me. It was truly one of the best days of my life, and one I will never forget.
So today, my husband, I celebrate my marriage to you. I love you more with each day we spend together. Who knew I could love anyone as much as I love you. I feel truly blessed to have you in my life. You are my knight in shining armor, my protector, my rock, my partner in all things, my soulmate.
I'm so glad we found each other...again...Old Man
In Loving Memory
I stand corrected, it looks like Boo may have been 16 years old. Wow! That is ancient in dog years. I was looking for a picture of him to put on the site when I found one with a date, 1990. I can't believe how long he has been with my family. It's almost like having another sibling. Well, here are some pictures of Boo doing some of his favorite things.
Enjoy
Boo as a pup, doing his favorite thing, digging water out of the corners.
Still digging!
Look at that face...isn't he cute!
Boo as an older man (notice the white around his ears) doing another favorite activity...napping!
Reflections
As I sit here staring at the keyboard, trying to find the the right words, I am overcome by grief. For today, I have just received word that a very faithful companion of mine has passed away. Yes, it was time, and it's better this way, but it still hurts my heart terribly to know that he is gone.
Today, my parents had to put down one of their dogs. I have only lived through this one other time in my entire life, and I must say, this time is no easier than the last. In fact, it may be harder simply because I had much longer with this dog than the last. So, in order to work through the pain that only time will somewhat heal, I dedicate this post to one of the most wonderful and loyal companions I have ever known...Abu Garcia a.k.a. Boo.
Boo was a mixed breed, part cocker spaniel and part poodle, a cockapoo if you will. He was so small when Mom brought him home. We weren't even looking for a new dog but when she saw him at the vet, she just couldn't leave him. He was just too cute My Dad wasn't very pleased at first, but it didn't take long for this little fellow to win his heart.
One of my first memories of Boo is a few hours after bringing him home. He was just a small pup and not quite sure about what was going on. I was in 8th grade I believe, making my brother 10 or so. My brother came home and startled the new puppy. Boo ran into the corner of the kitchen, yelped once, and then proceeded to pee all over the floor. It was priceless, especially when my brother got into trouble for it
It was fun watching this little puppy grow up. I remember his favorite summer activity. He loved to play in the water, and would play in his water bowl if you let him. We use to take out a cake pan, fill it up with water, take it outside and let Boo play in it. As soon as we put it down, he would climb in, pick a corner, and then dig. I guess he was trying to get all of the water out of that corner, I'm not really sure though. It was very entertaining to watch him throw water all over the place. And when he got tired of that one corner, he would go to another. He couldn't rest until there was little or no water left in the pan. He would do this for hours, while we would just sit and watch. Boo however, did not like the swimming pool at all. How strange
As Boo got older, he could be quite tempermental. When we got Boo, I was around the age at which Girl Scout Camp became very important to me. I was going a lot and preparing for the CIT program (counselors-in-training). It's a month long program that takes place over the course of two years. So, I left for camp, with only one weekend break over the month for two years. Each time I left and then returned, Boo would get mad at me. He would growl and walk off every time I would try to pet him. He would eventually get over it and I could win him over within a day or so. I guess it was his way of telling me that he missed me and loved me that much and that he didn't appreciate me leaving him like that. We all have our quirks.
I was the one who took Boo to obediance training. You couldn't tell it though. He only obeyed Mom it seems. But that was okay too, my brother and I didn't really obey Mom so it was good that someone did
For the last decade (plus some), Boo has been one of the few constants in my life. As much as I watched him change, he in turn watched the major changes in my life. He saw me go from middle school to high school, from high school to college, and from college to graduate school. He also witnessed my first major boyfriend, and continuously growled at him for the entire couple of months that we were together. And while I have flourished and become the person that I am, he unfortunately got older, and sicker. For the most part, he was healthy. Afew years ago, he developed cataracts and lost most of his sight. Then, his hearing went as a result of taking a certain medication. Then we found out his heart was enlarged. But still, his little body kept on ticking. He was a fighter.
I am sorry that I did not get to properly say goodbye. I saw him just last weekend. Boo had developed quite a cough that was very annoying to most. It was very pitiful, and constant. He was waking my parents up by 4 in the morning, and was beginning to lose all sense of time. My Mother wasn't even quite sure he knew who she was anymore. Boo was really beginning to lose it. Yet, he was still strong.
A few jokes were made about his cough and putting him out of his misery (and ours) but a little cough, while inconvenient, was no reason to put down an otherwise healthy dog for his age (somewhere around 13 or older). I hate that I made some of those comments about putting him down. In retrospect, it wasn't a very nice thing to say. Apparently, over this past week, he deteriorated rapidly. He began having trouble breathing and eventually stopped eating. And eating was about all that he lived for. My parents made the decision based on his quality of life and had him put down this morning. I just received the email about 20 min. ago. My heart aches and there is a small hole that can never be filled. But my mother's words stick with me...
I feel like even though he didn't know me, he did know he was safe and loved to the very end.
Isn't that all what we want in the end? I know I do.
Yes, I will go on. And with time, the pain will fade but never go away. All I can do is be thankful that I got to see him one last time before the end and cherish the memories that we made together. I guess there is a lesson in all this, one that you hear time and time again but never seem to fully realize until something tragic, yet not unexpected happens, the loss of a friend.
So, I will take comfort in my mother's words and our hearts will hurt together.
I know that we did the right thing in letting him go. My head tells me all the things it should about a good long life, best for Boo, no more pain but... it is not my head that hurts. My heart does. Boo was a true and faithful companion. After all, who else will sit on a hill all night and look for you to come home
I'll miss you Boo, but I know you are in a better place. And thank you for making my life a little brighter.